Skin

(Part 1) Who said men are thick skinned?

What does skin do? Skin covers, conceals and protects: it's the miracle garment that is soft, pliable, strong, waterproof, and self-repairing. It's the largest organ of our bodies, and without it, all our delicate insides would spill out onto the floor.

LOOKS

Men are becoming more and more conscious of their skin and its appearance. Chaps getting ready for a night out before the 1960s would have a scrub down with Carbolic and slap on a dab of Brylcreem or maybe if they were pushed for time, a rub down with the local newspaper.

What are men like now? Check out the gym – no more locker room odours down there, more like the Queen of Sheba's boudoir – probably smells nicer: men have started to use products that were once strictly confined to the woman's shelf of the bathroom: exfoliation creams, moisturisers, male eye creams, eye gels, self-tanning lotions, mattifying gels to combat that greasy shine, facial scrubs and tinted moisturisers. In 1998 the male skin care market was worth only about £7 million; by 2003 it was worth some £42 million, a sixfold rise. The entire male UK grooming market, including razors, deodorant etc., grew by about 10% over the same period.

We have a struggle in the 21 st century with image. Image has become all important: good looks have come to indicate internal goodness. In previous centuries it was a man's character which mattered and character didn't always equate with looks. Regard some of the great men of history – a right bunch of mingers.

However men have an ambiguous relationship with their bodies: it's ok to look good but not too good, it's ok to wear perfume as long as it's referred to as aftershave, some damage is acceptable as long as it's done tastefully and in the right places: hairline scars playing rugby are fine ‘cos they are manly but other disfigurements are less acceptable.

FAT

Because it has a layer of fat underneath, skin insulates you against bumps, bangs and the cold. The more fat you have the better the insulation but this is NOT a good reason to purposefully get fatter as there are too many disadvantages like heart disease and early death. Anyway you can use clothing to make up the heat deficit – except when going out on a Friday Night in the North of England where it is customary to wear as little as possible whilst sauntering around the frozen city streets looking literally cool.


Your skin manufactures and excretes all sorts of fluids, waxes and oils which act as your body's natural waterproofer and a protector against germs. They make your skin softer; but they can also give you pimples. Your skin also contains glands which manufacture sweat. With sweat, not only does your body get cooled by its evaporation, but it has a convenient way to get rid of chemicals and other undesirables like germs, bacteria and viruses it doesn't need. That's why chicken pox!

(IT'S ALL SO VERY) TOUCHING

There are any number of taboos among the traditional English man regarding skin: who's allowed to touch yours, how you touch other people. For a long time a firm grip of another man's hand was felt to be sufficient to show greeting or respect. Any more than that left men feeling distinctly uneasy or even calling you out in a duel.

We normally think that it's perfectly ok to touch women's skin though, and to look at lots of it. Some of the daily tabloid newspapers are specifically geared up to supply this.

Touching other men is becoming more common amongst some groups although the touch can take a variety of forms: with footballers there's plenty of hugging, rubbing the head and using the player who scored the goal as a device to lift themselves into the air. Rugby players have always felt at liberty to grab each others goodies – it's just part of the game. Boxers use touch less affectionately (with opponents anyway), and medical practitioners are given (or we give them) special dispensation to touch us at specific times and places. Gay men are officially allowed to touch each other in a sexual way but many other men (who don't necessarily think they're gay) also do.

Less (or is it more) sensationally, many men are hugging and even kissing their brethren as indicators of affection. Sometimes it feels just fine and sometimes it's hard to work out whether:

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you really want to;

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because everyone else has done it, you'd just look a fool if you didn't;

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you can physically manoeuvre your arms, neck and head properly to make it look like a perfectly natural action and not that you are completely unused to hugging other men and therefore a bit of an old-fashioned git, or without smacking noses together

DISEASES

If everything works ok then you never give it a second thought but if something does go wrong then you soon start noticing. Normally when this happens the next step is to go and do something about it, but men don't always take this seemingly obvious course….