Coping with Stress

We all have some stress and many like the challenge of a demanding lifestyle. Sometimes even for those others would call strong, it can get the better of us causing loss of sleep, concentration, temper, appetite and libido. Learning to acknowledge it and examine how well (or not) we are coping can be the first big step to reducing the harm it can do us.

What Do You Do?

When stressed, males tend to drink twelve pints of lager, eat a curry at one in the morning, chuck, swallow the contents of a carry out and then find a floor to pass out on, waking up with a mouthful of cig butts, carpet and cat hair. This can be helpful in the short term although it is not the most healthy route. It may also provide amusing anecdotes to other men who have most likely been in the same position and can in fact be a form of primitive male bonding. Anyone who doubts this need only consult an excellent weekly documentary once provided as a public service by the BBC - Men Behaving Badly.

DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO

Alternatives are playing football (rather than watching it on Saturday evening with a six pack of lager and a take away curry - see above for the active version of this form of recreation), swimming, sex, dancing, cycling, climbing stairs with heavy shopping, running because you are late for lectures and almost any other form of physical activity. Advice, as with most advice of this nature is simple - just get on with it, find a sport you like and participate - you will feel better and, for those with the opportunity, sex will last longer and be more enjoyable.

Contrary to medical advice, slumping in front of the TV can be a great way to relieve stress - as long as you find it relaxing. Get a video (if you haven't got a player find a friend with one) and have a laugh or a cry and talk about it afterwards. Arrange times to do the things you want to do. Do what you need to do first - write essays, pay bills, clear up emotional crises, feed the cat, then just relax. You can do yoga, t'ai chi or meditation if you have a mind for it but it's not compulsory - the main thing is to do what makes you feel relaxed and to let other people know that that is why you are doing it.

JUST WHAT YOU NEED

Find some time for yourself. Not stolen time when you worry about what you ought to be doing but time allocated to the important side issues of staying healthy and staying alive. Do what you want to do with this time to relax. If you want to increase the benefit of your free time try some simple exercise, or take up a sport. You will find that if you join a club of some sort you can set aside the time more easily, especially if your chosen pastime involves other people. There are a few very simple ideas about exercise on the page we have devoted to it's benefits. Try this page and see if there's anything there which strikes a chord with you.



RELAXATION versus WORK

Relaxation is an individual thing, it is important to find out what suits you. If your stress comes mainly from work then these are the things you may need to remind yourself of before you can begin to unwind. There are three main ways in which you can reduce your workload. Change what you do, change how you do it, or change the way you think about it. The choice is usually only limited by how much imagination (and autonomy) you have. To alter what you do, you first need to know what it is that eats up your working day. Although it is a bind to do, you will need a detailed log of everything you do in a typical day. The more days you collect the better. Now examine your list with the following in mind:-

Your duty at work is to further your companies progress toward it's goal. It might mean maximum sales or stacking more boxes, but you need to clearly understand what it is you do and why. Now prioritise on your list what must be done now, what can be done later, what can be done by someone else, and what doesn't need to be done at all. It can be surprising to find how much there is that is unnecessary. Cut out the social chit-chat whilst you're working, but be sure to have time for it in your proper break. You should treat meal and tea breaks as high priority, you will not work to maximum effect if you are weary.

And this is important - learn to say no to people, even your boss. For each extra job you take on try to point out that something else will need to be re-organised or delegated elsewhere. Deal with out of work problems out of work, not only because that's where they belong, but you will do much better with a clear head. Booze offers a crutch in crisis times but is only a way of hiding from problems whilst they grow, so probably best avoided. Deal with your worries whatever they are, health, finance, work, relationships, all benefit from a frontal assault, even if it takes quite a few battles before the war is over.

Acknowledgement.
I am grateful to Mr. Dennis Jones, the author of the above article for letting me share it with you.

PERSONAL RELAXATION FOR COUPLES

There are as many ways to relax as there are people to do it. Know yourself. Only when you know what you want can you hope to find it. WHAT A REVELATION! Work on this as a couple, there are so many possibilities. Massage after a shared bath is available free to just about every couple. You don't need any special equipment or oils, just a big towel or two, any oily substance you like, (the food store can be a rich source of inspiration but be careful if you get carried away, oils can have a dramatic effect on condoms).

Use your imagination.

ENJOY YOURSELVES.